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themch
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Name: Nathan
Birthday: 12/17/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: I like bike riding and going to church.
Expertise: I am an expert at not much, however, I do teach people how to leverage their time and multiply their efforts by using a bi-nomial marketing strategy that enables him/her to create a residual income of $2100/week in a 2-3 year period.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  iamthemch
Member Since:
9/27/2004
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| ok, so, it has been quite some time since i've written in this journal. all though this journal isn't that big a deal, it does actually represent my committment in my spiritual walk. i want to be able to know God, better, and to have more an intimate relationship. this journal is a way of me channeling my thoughts to Him, and for me to focus. my committment to praying, and growing spiritually has fallen. although i constantly think about God, and my relationship, i don't feel the progression. i feel as if i'm also loosing site of the big picture. i want to be able to love, true love. i want to be able know Him more than myself. i can't do that with only talking once a month. or even a week. i guess my main focus is re-establishing a more frequent communication between God and myself. | | |
| ok, so, i'm gonna keep this short because of what i'm asking. I'm just asking to listen better. I'm starting to understand a little bit why people don't want to stay close to me. I just need to listen more. | | |
| Yeah, so, it's pretty much official. I have become some who allows others to walk over me. I am a push-over. I have learned that I have less than 5 real friends. Half the time, I can't even call then "good" friends. So, there is a reason for this. Either, I am that much a jerk people have no regard for my feelings, i wants or needs, and my beliefs, or I just really am that easy to be manipulated and walked on. Also, I have realized that it seems impossible for me to find a true really close friend that no matter what will stick by me. I'm not saying I don't have anyone who will stick by me, but as far as realtionship-wise, I'm failing to achieve connections with people. God I know that You are always there. I do take You for granted and I don't appreciate all that You have done for me. Lord, I know that You will never give me something I can not handle, and that You know my prayers before I speak them. However, I ask that You send me a companion, a comforter, partner, w/e, but at least someone for me to grow with. Even with-in the church I do not have very strong, deep relationships. I'm seeking one earth just as I am seeking You. Only if it is Your will do I ask this of You. I thank You so much for Your Son who died on the cross for my sins. It's in His name that I pray. | | |
| Well, this is probaby the most ironic entry ever. I feel like i have no friends. I feel completely by myself. I've relied on every1 else when i should have relied on You. I don't understand why i continue to reject You and not live through You. Everytime i'm down i see to seek nething else. But then as soon as things are good, i'm so quick to say thank God. Yet, y i can't i say thank God for everything. If i got a flat tire, i'll probably curse n throw my bike or something. Yet, if i pull a crazy trick, i'll say thank God. This isn't fair to You. Obviously by my roller coaster attitiude towards life, I haven't been living up to my end. I haven't been trying to serve You as effectively as possible. I just wish i could see Your footsteps next to me, just so i knew that You were really there. I wish i could see the times when there is only one set of prints, the times that you carry me through. The times i would otherwise perish if You weren't there for me. Lord, please carry me. I feel as if this is a time i should perish, that i shouldn't get the chances You give me. I don't feel worthy of Your Grace and Your love. You suffered the worst, yet I face a troubling time and stumble, and fall short of Your glory. I pray to be filled with Your Holy Spirt. I pray that You will live Your will through me. That it be Your will done. I thank You so much for everything You have already done for me. Please forgive of my daily sins. Please forgive me of the sins that i repeatedly commit against You. I pray this all in Your name Jesus. | | |
| OK, so Julia Lynn Genard, she is one of my goodest friends ever in my life history. Julia and I have a much different relationship than I have ever had with absolutely anyone. She is an amazing person who pretty much has always been there when I needed her. And the only time nething was different was because of the way I treated her. She always let me know when i was not being fair or right or w/e. I appreciate that. She has been a great for a long time. Soon, she will be married to a very blessed man. I'm so totally happy for her. She is so awesome, she left me a nice note on my car the other nite too. It totally made my day. Big Time! So, i'm just writing this kinda to express the love i have for my dear friend Julia. I know that she will do well and live well b/c of her heart, and may God bless her and joe. | | |
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